Parenting in Judaism

Quoted by Rabbi Noam Raucher...

A thought about Jewish parenting By Edward Feinstein (As if it needed to be said!)

How central is child-rearing to the heart of Jewish spirituality? There is no word for “parenting” in Hebrew. “Parents,” in Hebrew, are horim. The noun abstract would have to be “Torah.” Torah, the very name of the sacred tradition itself, is the best semantic equivalent of “parenting.” This has profound implications. It means, first, that the Jewish tradition could not separate a discrete set of skills and techniques that make for successful parenting. For all its attention to children and education, there is no tractate of Talmud, no section of the Shulhan Arukh, devoted to solely to parenting skills or strategies. The entire spiritual tradition is about parenting. The way to successful parenting is to absorb the full wisdom of the tradition. Second, it means that no activity is more sacred, more revered, than parenting. To parent a child is to do Torah. Parenting brings God into the world.

DIY Passover

As we celebrate Passover this month, we come to the amazing challenge and opportunity of crafting a seder experience for our families.

What’s the seder supposed to be like, and can we do it for ourselves?

All of us grew up with a different seder – some were fun (I hope!), some were long and boring, some were entirely adult events where the kids were only brought in to seek out the afikomen near the end. The seder offers us a unique time to build our own Judaism in our homes.

The rabbis of the ancient world transferred authority for Passover from a central place, the Temple in Jerusalem, to a local place – everyone’s home. Every leader of every household, became the ritual guide for one night.

And all of us are qualified to do this!

Find a Haggadah that suits your tastes, or make one yourself – turn to any of your local rabbis for the Levine-Sklut Library for assistance if you need it. Make sure to cover all of the symbolic foods, ask lots of questions (at least four!), and help our families have a Passover that we will all remember fondly and use as a springboard to create our own Jewish rituals in the future!

And of course, don't miss the Temple Tots DIY Seder event this Saturday, March 31, 9:15am at Temple Beth El - activities for kids as adults learn how easy it is to put together our own seders.

A Happy Passover to all of you!

Vote Against NC Amendment 1

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Prop 8 - where it belongs - unconstitutional

Keeping Our Homes Safe

Temple Beth El, Charlotte, North Carolina
Friday, October 14, 2011 - Shabbat Sukkot

The Sukkah is a home for our community made of ideals, not bricks or mortar. The temporary structure, built to remind us of our difficult times moving between Egypt and the Promised Land, brings to mind that our community’s fabric comes from strong ethics, not stalwart buildings.

Sukkot offers us the opportunity to look at a simpler dwelling, a home with no hidden areas. Its flaws and its beauty are revealed easily, the Sukkah reminds us of a simpler existence.

With such a simple home as an example, we can turn our consciousness to the difficulties that may lie hidden in our own homes. In the midst of Domestic Violence Awareness month, we can use Sukkot to open ourselves up to the difficulties that lay hidden amongst us.

One in four homes is affected by Domestic Abuse - even Jewish homes. Homes built by all types of people. Moving the community to an awareness of our homes and their structures, moving them outside and into the Sukkah, may also mean moving ourselves to a greater awareness of these difficulties all around us.

Just as the Sukkah is a simplification of the home, and so a symbol, these problems in real homes should not be simplified. The abusive relationship too often blames the victim, on the one hand, and our solutions to abuse may dehumanize the abuser as well. A persistent abusive home leaves everyone damaged and in jeopardy, and requires all of our energies to unravel and make whole again.

Wholeness, another translation of Shalom, is our goal - we aim for a Sukkat Shalom, a Sukkah of peaceful wholeness, in the same way that we aim for Sh’lom Bayit - peaceful wholeness in the home. Creating such wholeness requires awareness, deliberation, and thoughtful action. We must see the issues, figure out helpful paths to solve them, and then go out and make it happen.

At Temple Beth El we have already led the way with a Resolution of Domestic Abuse:

WHEREAS Judaism affirms the sanctity of life and the inherent right of each person to a life of dignity and respect, and to a home that embodies such values, and

WHEREAS a Jewish House of Worship should be a safe haven for anyone who is suffering from any form of domestic abuse, and
WHEREAS domestic abuse, especially the battering of women, is a problem that has too often been minimized, ignored, or denied in the Jewish community, and
WHEREAS certain misconceptions exist regarding battered women and men that dismiss, deny, and blame the victim rather than the perpetrator,
THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED that Temple Beth El and its members acknowledge the presence of domestic abuse in our Temple family and the Jewish community.
BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED that Temple Beth El and its leadership will offer guidance about domestic abuse and make it known to our congregants that victims may come to us for help and that we will educate our congregants in order to recognize and help prevent domestic abuse.
BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED that Temple Beth El will take the steps that are necessary and appropriate to become a safe and welcoming place for anyone in our Temple family who is in a domestic abuse situation.
BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED that Temple Beth El leadership will offer educational and ethical action programs about domestic abuse, and that we will institute appropriate forums in our congregation and community regarding the issue of domestic abuse.
BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED that Temple Beth El will call upon and work with other religious and secular organizations throughout our community to educate and engage in a campaign of outreach and awareness regarding domestic abuse.


We must work to embody the other symbol of Sukkot the lulav and etrog. These four items are often depicted as four aspects of ourselves:
- The myrtle leaves shaped like our eyes, the eyes with which we see into the dark places in our lives that need attention.
- The etrog shaped like our heart, the heart with which we feel with sympathy another’s plight, and that beats with justice to improve it.
- The willow leaves shaped like our mouths which must speak out about these issues with courage.
- And the palm branch, stalwart like our spines, which must stand strong and act for the sake of ourselves and others who need our actions that will bring repair to lives and the world.

We remember that while we pray to God for the resources to bring such repair, the responsibility for the doing of  it is our responsibility, and so we declare our responsibility for bringing about the better world that we seek. Let us be the change needed to make our homes safe.